By Daniel Ottalini
Need to kill off an annoying character? Already used a bunch of creative ways to eliminate super important people, and you’d rather not leave a boring person to die by lethal sword thrust? Here’s a slightly humorous, hopefully helpful list of creative causes of calamity for you callous creators of creative creations out there.
- Death by Paper Clip
- Run over by a train
- Falling from a great height (internal monologue included)
- Slipped on an icy patch
- Strangled when a tie gets caught in a paper shredder
- Drowning in any liquid (beer included!)
- Getting Rick Rolled too many times.
- Crushed by a stack of library books
- Starvation during a marathon game of Risk
- Tornado
- Sharknado
- Volcanado (Be prepared)
- Extreme Sunburn
- Extreme frostbite
- Infected animal attack
- Infected person attack
- Zombies!
- Any predatory animal
- Any non-predatory animal (Nothing says death like being killed by Koalas)
- Arrow Pincushion
- Ak-47 Pincushion
- Electric Shock from an Electric Toothbrush (A friend’s greatest fear)
- Being bored to death
- Ghost attack!
- Car accident with toy cars
- Bar Fight
- Dog Fight
- Cat fight
- Fight Club
- Vat of Acid
- Vat of Chocolate
- Drug overdose
- Earthquake!
- Red Wedding – Might want to change the name….
- Execution by Plasma Gun
- Gnome assassin
- Ninja Power rangers!
- Snowball ambush
- Cannonball volley
- Crushed by the forces of Magic!
- Special mushrooms
- Hug-o-war
- Ants in the Pants, Ants in the eyes!
- Alien Abduction
- Branded as a Heretic and burned at the stake
- Caught by cannibals and burned as a steak.
- Ignoring surroundings in a jungle
- Paper plane of death
- Ignoring surroundings in your car
- Ignoring surroundings at your compu……
Need more? Check out Part Two HERE
Also, grab my latest novel – full of deaths both humorous and depressing, alongside an exciting, roller coaster clash of Romans and Mongols – Steel Praetorian!
Modern Papyrus 
Great list! Gave me many a hearty chuckle 🙂
There’s even more chuckles over here! https://danielottalini.com/2016/07/27/50-ways-to-kill-a-character-part-ii/